Thirteen years ago a series of events transpired that has led me to where I am today. Those events were heartbreaking and stressful…and the beginning of life that I now call Malachi.
Thirteen years ago, I was a mess. I was drinking regularly and lost in the grief of burying my father. He was 47yrs old. I was 19. He didnt die in an “accident” or natural causes. He was stolen from me by the doctors I entrusted with his care…and I will be the first to admit that I wanted to die.
At the the time I was dating my now ex-husband and the relationship was far from healthy. He was manipulative, controlling, and emotionally abusive…so…when he ran off to Georgia to sleep with some random chick on the internet I decided to “hook up” with a guy named Steve.
Steve and I met through a mutual friend of ours at the time. I would go over to her house to hang out, drink, and play Magic. She knew the type of relationship I was in and as soon as I told her I had a little crush on Steve she fully encouraged me to pursue it. She thought we would “make a good couple”.
Seven weeks later, I found out I was pregnant. Sam and I both knew that the liklihood of Sam being the father was small. We had tried for quite some time to conceive and never succeeded, but when Steve learned about the pregnancy he didnt want it and to top it all off him and our “mutual friend” were suddenly “in love” and a couple. I was told I needed to get an abortion, and after a few weeks of harassment from who I thought was a friend I landed in the hospital due to extreme stress contributing to high blood pressure. If something didnt stop I was going to lose the baby. Sam and I made the decision to tell Steve that I had lost the baby.
…and thats when my life changed.
Sam and I married. The manipulation, control, and abuse escalated to the point one day he ran me over with my own car. And when I had, had enough….I left. I lost everything…but I left. I was able to keep everything together for a while, but working with my disabilities proved to be too much for me and since Sam had spent every dime of my inheritance….so I became homeless. Thats when I signed over guardianship of Malachi to my ex mother-in-law. A decision I have regretted since day one. I was doing what was best for Malachi…she was motivated by control, and that is exactly what she gained.
In 2010, Malachi’s grandmother and dad sat down and told him that a paternity test had shown that Sam was not the biological father, and ever since I have had questions and requests from Malachi to find his bio dad. I was worried about what would happen if I did. He didnt want him 13yrs ago….would he want him now?
The answer is yes. Upon Steve hearing that he had a son he was shocked, overjoyed, and excited. He is now married with three daughters (we’ve met two so far and theyre awesome). Malachi really likes his bio dad, and finally has found where he belongs. And I have found an ally.
The ex in-laws still refuse to give up their guardianship, so…now that the court battle is over with my younger two children I am ready to go to bat over Malachi. He wants to live with me and has no problem telling people that – including his grandparents. They dont agree with my decision to involve Malachi’s bio dad, and so far they have retalliated by removing part of my Christmas visitation (they bought tickets to Aruba with an outbound date Decemeber 25th in the morning – Im supposed to have him til 6pm that day) and he will also be gone the weekend after which is also my weekend. Guardians or not, they A.) Have no business removing my visitation and B.) Have no business taking my son out of the country right now.
So…this week I will be heading down to the Marion County courthouse to obtain the documents that I need to obtain legal services with every intent to file to remove their guardianship. The era of control will hopefully be over, because Im over it. Im tired of being their doormat. It may be a struggle…but in the end I have no doubt I will win. Ive already won full custody of two small special needs children, so why would any court deny me custody of an almost 13yr old.
Wish me luck.